Every year about this time, I have the same problem: I need a great book on building teams through meetings for the Small Group Process Consultation class I teach at Alliant International University.

Every year, I can’t find that book. I own most all the books on meetings, facilitation and teams, and many of them have great, great information. Problem is, not one is what I need: a soup-to-nuts approach to interacting with groups without freaking out. Or freaking them out.

Last year I was in Portland, and I was certain that Powell Books – Mecca for readers – would have what I was seeking. The meetings section was easy to find; I eagerly started looking for the book. Except, every book in the meetings section was on either presentation skills or Robert’s Rules. Huh?

Nothing about equalizing participation, the proper use of groups, or having fun. Nothing about how a good meeting builds a team, and a bad one tears it apart. No practical guidance about the dynamics of groups, the psychological needs of leaders or what it takes to meld all this into a structure that invites magic.

And, isn’t that the whole point of having a meeting? Of working in teams?

I moved to the teams section, thinking maybe the book was there. Nope. There, it was all about how the latest and greatest team model would unlock the potential of your team. Like it was about a secret handshake or the decoder ring you got when you drank the koolaid. Click your heels three times and say “There’s no place like team.”

Not helpful.

I was looking for help explaining the crucial link between meetings and teamwork, which is this: You can’t have one without the other. Saying “team”won’t do it. Saying you’ve got a team without making your meetings team-friendly is like…lying. Becuase every meeting affects the team: The group meeting, the 1:1 meeting, the casual drive-by in the hallway. Which means you’ve got many opportunities to build your team each day, opportunities that add up to much more than what you’ll get from the big annual off-site. It’s such good news, I thought someone might have written about it. Not so far.

This year, I realized who that someone is: me. I’m going to write the book I’ve been wanting to read.  Wish me luck.

Vision statements, mission statements, and the 5-step problem-solving model. I. Just. Can’t. I also wince every time I hear someone say “360-degree review,” but that’s another post.

For one thing, I never could make sense of the difference between a vision statement and a mission statement. I remember precious life minutes spent trying to grok the difference as a meeting participant. I remember hours spent coming up with limp pieces of horrifying corpo-prose that – best case – we promptly forgot, or – worst case – got printed on our business cards.

Just say no to vision/mission statements. I’m not saying don’t have a way to describe, bound and focus what you’re doing that lights you up – not saying that at all. I’m saying keep it short, sweet and punchy. More like a mantra. “Make money and have fun” is Ben and Jerry’s. “The lowest-cost airline” is Southwest Airlines’s. See? Provides on-the-ground, practical guidance, and puts wind under my wings. Short, pithy, easy to remember and use in daily decision-making.

I advocate the mantra on the organizational, departmental team and individual levels. Not that I need to advocate them. Mantras are. I bet you’re using one right now. I once worked at an ad agency where our spoken mantra was : “It’s not brain surgery.” This helped us remember both to lighten up and to take risks.

A client’s current mantra is: “Get home on time.” It guides his every move, and it’s changing his life.

My mantra is: Let’s make it easier. I want to make things easier for my clients. I want to do what works and toss what doesn’t. I live for the hot-knife-through-butter moment, when what looked impossible becomes actual. It’s a visible, visceral thing: people light up and the world gets brighter when we get to easy. That mantra is what keeps my work endlessly fascinating. challenging and fun. That mantra is why I had to come clean about vision/mission statements.

Next week: My allergic reaction to the problem-solving model and what I do instead.

Overly-complicated, convoluted ideas and plans get shelved and forgotten; simple mantras focus and re-energize. Mantras are self-renewing. I’ll bet you have a mantra where you work. What is it?

This one is really easy to use – and effective. Here’s the typical scenario: You suggest a course of action Someone else raises an objection to your suggestion. Someone else makes alternate suggestion; again someone makes an objection.

This can go on for hours. Days, even. It’s like Wimbledon, but without the volleying.

Your group begins to lose energy and grows quiet. Over time, they get discouraged. Subtly, at first, camps form: There is the postiive or “proactive” camp, and the naysaying or “reactive” camp. Although these are false divisions, they take on a life of their own. Members of each camp come into your office after the meeting to lobby you. You have a headache and no time for all these meetings about the meeting. You want the ideas expressed in the meeting where everybody can respond to them, not in the meetings about the meeting, which only you can hear.

This is easy and fun to change. The next time someone – anyone – raises an objection in a meeting:

1. interrupt them

2. paraphrase their objection, and

3. ask them to make a suggestion or a proposal. “Got it, Jim, you object because that approach is too slow; what ideas do you have about what will work?” Or, “I’m hearing a lot about what won’t work – I want some proposals about what will work. Let’s hear some suggestions.”

Critical for success:

The interrupting is crucial. Don’t just cut them off though – make sure you understand their point and can paraphrase it back to them. On the other hand, waiting for them to finish may take too long. We’ve all been in the position of having the floor and being unable to utter a cogent sentence. Sometimes being interrupted and correctly paraphrased is a gift. Let the giving begin! Interrupt as politely as you can, but interrupt.

Be clear about why you’re doing this. You are not an ogre. Mostly. They are not stupid and bad. Mostly. You all have some bad habits. You’re all getting stuck on side of the brain that likes to pick at things, rather than the side that likes to create things. No wonder you’re tired!

Steer clear of Robert’s Rules. Just because you use the word “proposal” doesn’t mean you are now moving and amending and voting and have to buy a gavel. Eeuw. You are creating and building on each other’s ideas. If this goes according to plan, you won’t have time for the General Bob’s stuffy language and convoluted procedures.

In no time at all, your team members will be prompting each other in this way. The naysayer camp will evaporate. No one will be allowed to maunder on about why something won’t work. Instead, they’ll already have an idea or suggestion. Your meetings will be lighter, more productive and much more energizing. This single thing will change the energy of your meetings.